I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
