I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
