So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
