you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
