so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
