do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So. Much. Porn.
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