She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
