I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
