I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
