How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You dont lie about slip and slides
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
