a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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