he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
