There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
