I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
