They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
