she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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