theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
