why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
