real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
