she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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