The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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