I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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