Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
