You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
