just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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