fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
