I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
