i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
