Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
