im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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