btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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