I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
