This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
