Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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