I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
