idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
