there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
