Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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