there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
