He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
