I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
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