how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
