in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
