Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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