Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
