So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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