it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
