Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
