i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
