That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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