Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
