its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
